


the night that ends at last

by exyandreil



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, The Perfect Court (All For The Game), i promise it'll end okay, more tags will be added, most of this was written at 3am so like, okay a lot of angst, riko is a trash bag, shout at me if there's any mistakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-16 10:51:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exyandreil/pseuds/exyandreil
Summary: nathaniel wesninski is a raven. he's also a vampire. that's the only way for riko to keep his perfect court.





	1. the colour of despair

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so uh, this is my little attempt at putting something out there into the fandom (why is writing notes so much harder than actual writing) this first chapter is mostly just, set-up? i promise it gets more interesting
> 
> the title (and chapter names) are from abc cafe/red and black from les mis
> 
> you can find me on my [tumblr](https:/andreil.tumblr.com/) come shout at me

Riko tilted his head, looking between Nathaniel’s cheekbone and Kevin’s. “I think it’s good. The curve is the same.”

Kevin glanced at Nathaniel. “Yeah. I think so too.” He smiled and looked a little closer, holding his face gently. He was so small... It was hard to believe he was only 10, Nathaniel was so naive.

Nathaniel looked between the two of them, face strained with confusion. “What is it?” His father hadn’t said anything about him staying here, but he’d seen him leave after shaking someone’s hand. Would he be picking him up later? He didn’t know... Maybe it’d be nicer for him here. Kevin glanced up at Riko for a response, mumbling something in Japanese. That only made Nathaniel even more confused. Why couldn’t they just speak English? What was the point in speaking in Japanese? His father would probably be shouting at them to speak in English, but Nathaniel didn’t like shouting. So maybe this was better.

_“I think he’d be a good striker.”_

_“No. Are you blind? Clearly a backliner Kevin. Anyway, we don’t need another striker, we already have us.”_

Kevin nodded. _“You’re right.”_ He responded in Japanese again. He had to agree with him. He had no choice.

Riko sighed and walked towards the window overlooking the stadium. “Come here.” For a boy who was just about to turn thirteen, he was definitely on the shorter side. Kevin was far taller, but Riko dismissed that, he was number one. That was all that mattered, height wasn’t important to him.

Nathaniel got up from the sofa and walked up to Riko, standing next to him. He rocked on his heels as he tried to resist the urge to bite his lip. His father said it was childish behavior, he’d always hit him when he did. But, his father wasn’t here, so there was nothing stopping him. Nathaniel decided against it though, he didn’t want to get told on.

“I’m giving you a chance to play Exy for the rest of your life. Train with the best, be the best. Maybe even become captain when I eventually leave the Ravens. Would you want that Nathaniel?” Riko glanced down at him, a sharp glint in his eye. It matched the triumphant smirk that he wore constantly. He had the world at his fingertips, more specifically the world of Exy. Everyone seemed to adore him and Kevin.

Nathaniel couldn’t help but look at the court when he said that he could play It was shining, almost like a dream. His father had always kept him away from playing on a court. He’d always mumble something along the lines of, _‘useless boy shouldn’t get his head filled with useless ideas, they’ll never come true so what’s the point in him chasing them?’_ Could it be possible for him to have this? It’d always been so out of reach for him. An impossible truth. The fact that he could be as good as Riko and Kevin seemed even more implausible to him. He looked up at Riko. “What will my father say?”

“Nothing. He won’t speak to you ever again. He didn’t want anything to do with you in the first place.”

Nathaniel nodded slowly, taking it all in. He ignored the crushing feeling in his chest. So he was right. He was a mistake.

“Well? If you say no-“

Kevin sharply exhaled in a silent warning. Riko narrowed his eyes at him, but Kevin was right. If the boy knew what would happen to him, he wouldn’t want to sign up to it.

Nathaniel looked back at the court, finally glancing at his reflection. That was what it was. A black three, drawn neatly onto his left cheekbone. He couldn’t help but smile. He’d be valued here. Worth something. Finally. Loved, adored even. It could all be his. The world of Exy at his fingertips.

Kevin stood on the other side of Nathaniel, smiling down at him. “Well?”

“Why would I say no?”

 

* * *

 

 

Kevin smiled, gently shaking Nathaniel awake. “Wake up. Nate. Wake up.” He whispered.

Nathaniel instantly sat up, eyes wide, auburn hair sticking out in all directions. “Kevin?” He was smiling. Kevin always smiled more than Riko. At least around Nathaniel.

He grinned and picked up the wrapped box, placing it in his lap. Red and black. Ravens had a one track mind, those were the only colors they were allowed to have. “Happy birthday. Thea helped me wrap it.”

A present...? His lips pursed together, eyebrows furrowed. “How did you know it was my birthday, I never told you-“

“January 19th,” Kevin smiled again, wider than before. “It was in your file.”

Nathaniel nodded and pulled the ribbon before taking the lid off. “Tissue paper? Why did you get me-”

He snorted. “Look underneath, stupid.”

“Oh,” Nathaniel paused. “Yeah.” He took the tissue paper out of the box, smiling when he did. “Kevin!” He lifted the plushie out, grinning. A raven. Of course. What else would it be? Nathaniel loved it though. He had to love it. The only toy he’d had when he was younger was a set of cars that Lola had bought him. He didn’t really like her or the cars, but he played with them anyway. It was a good distraction from the other things going on in the house. And it also proved a point to his father. That he could think about other things that weren’t Exy. “Thank you, Kevin.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s your birthday.” He grinned and stood up. “I can see if we can go out later tonight?”

“Can’t we go out in the day? More places will be open, there’s more choice if we go in the day.”

Kevin froze. “No. We can’t, today is already busy.” The day was busy, but he had other reasons as to why they weren’t allowed out in the day.

“But we could go to do something fun-“

“Nathaniel, no. I said no. Okay? Imagine if I was Riko and you just spoke back... What have I said about that?” He gripped his shoulder tightly. Sure, he was eleven. But that wasn’t an excuse for Riko.

Nathaniel looked down. “I know...”

“Good. Get changed and come watch us practice, the team could do with your enthusiasm for tomorrow’s game.” It was true, the Ravens played better when Nathaniel was watching. He was like their little mascot.

He beamed up at him. “Yeah?”

“That’s what I said.” Kevin smiled and ruffled his hair. He was only two years younger than him, but he couldn’t help but coddle him. He was so small compared to him.

Nathaniel snorted and batted his hands away. “I’ll see you later.”

Kevin nodded. “See you then.” He picked up the box and left his room. He didn’t know how much longer he could stand being around Nathaniel. He was a human, Kevin was a vampire. It was only so long before Kevin or Riko gave into their urges. It was too early to turn him though. Two more years. Then it’d be certain that Nate would survive it.

 

* * *

 

  
Nathaniel was twelve when Riko first hit him. It was only over a joke, a stupid comment. So he’d been pushed down in the center of the court, forced to look up at Riko with his shit-eating smirk. He didn’t mean it, really. That’s what he’d been trying to tell Riko. But he wasn’t listening to his tears of desperation. He didn’t care that Nathaniel was screaming for him to stop. If anything, it made him hit him harder. Maybe it was the fact that Kevin wasn’t doing anything hurt the most. He was just bouncing balls off of the walls of the court, trying to ignore them.

354... 355... 356... Kevin counted with every time he swung his racquet through the air. One more year. One more year. That’s all. Then he could make sure Nathaniel would be safe from him.

Nathaniel’s blood shone on the court floor, Riko’s shoes squeaked as they kicked him in the ribs. For the first time, this felt like a nightmare. He wanted this to be over, he wanted his father to come and pick him up now- No. He shouldn’t want that. That’d just end up worse for Nathaniel. He got dragged back up with a tight grip on his hair. Couldn’t he just have been left to cry for a little longer? “I-“

“Shut. Up.” His voice was like nails on a chalkboard, painful to listen to.

There was only so much pain Nathaniel could take before he passed out.

Riko said that if anyone asked what happened to him, he had to say that he’d fallen off of his bike. He didn’t even know how to ride a bike. Scratches lined his nose and cheeks, the result of sandpaper from Riko’s hands. Two of his fingers had been broken. Nathaniel didn’t really care about these things though, the one thing that scared him the most was the image of Riko’s face. He smiled through it all. His wrists burned, but he kept on practicing the next day. He didn’t get a day to rest, he was woken with a glass of water to his face and a racquet being shoved in his hand. Nathaniel wanted to prove he could fight him though. That he wasn’t worthless. He was his father’s son after all.

 

* * *

 

Riko’s racquet clattered to the floor, taking Nathaniel with it. “Get him out of my fucking sight before I kill him.” He growled at Kevin. He made Japanese sound more aggressive than German or Russian. But then again, anything could sound aggressive when Riko said it.

_“He’s thirteen now Riko, he’ll survive the change, do you want me to-“_ He didn’t want Nate to die. This was the only option.

_“Yes. Showers. Go.”_   Riko cut him off and picked his racquet back up. He stormed off of the court, blood boiling with rage. In a twisted way, he was the epitome of teenage angst, even at fifteen. He always wanted the best. He always got the best. That’s how he liked it, and he’d do anything for it.

Kevin walked up to Nathaniel, holding his hand out. “Come on...” This would be good for him. He’d be safer.

He took his hand, letting Kevin help him to his feet. “That was a good practice, right? I think you’re better than some of the actual Ravens.”

Kevin nodded silently. He had to. There was nothing else he could do. “Remember when Riko said that you could play here for the rest of your life?”

“Yeah?” Nathaniel checked the strings of his racquet, barely paying attention to him. That conversation was years ago, why would it be relevant now?

There was no way to soften the blow. He just had to tell him. “Riko and I are vampires. He wants you to be one too.”

Nathaniel laughed. What else could he do but laugh? It was an impossible fact, vampires didn’t exist, couldn’t exist. Why would they exist? They were made up things from storybooks, created to scare children into behaving.

“Stop laughing.” He gritted his teeth. “Nathaniel. Look at me.” Kevin grabbed his face tightly and Nathaniel’s racquet clattered to the floor. “Stop.” It was the first time Kevin had held him like this, most of the time it was to help him after Riko was finished with him.

Nathaniel looked at him, lips curled up into a smile. “What? It’s a funny-“ Oh. Oh no. Oh, fuck no. “Those are...” His face fell, eyes widening ever so slightly.

“Yes,” Kevin sighed. “Fangs. Ever wonder why me and Riko don’t eat with the rest of the team? Why we live in Black Hall and the other Ravens live in Red?”

“I-“ Nathaniel shook his head. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Do you think I’d lie to you about something like this?”

“Yes! That sounds like something you’d joke...” He trailed off, his last words becoming a mumble. Maybe one of the other Ravens would, but not Kevin.

“And if you’re not a vampire by tomorrow, Riko will probably kill you with his own bare hands.”

Nathaniel looked down at the floor. Why him? Why did he have to make a decision now? “How can you prove it...?”

Kevin sighed, he hated saying this, he hated making it a feature of him. “When me and Riko go out, do you ever see us leave in anything other than hoodies and hats and face masks?”

He picked his racquet back up, chewing his bottom lip as he thought back to all the times he’d seen them leave. Without you. His brain reminded him. You weren’t that special Nathaniel, you hadn’t been outside in three years, almost four. “I don’t think so, there was that one time-“

“I got burned. Badly.” Kevin looked away from him. “The master fixed me up.” He sighed.

“Burned?” Nathaniel looked up at him.

“Yes, Nate. Burned. Because of the sun. Well done.” He looked away from him, avoiding his stare. He’d make sure that Nathaniel wouldn’t get hurt. “Come on. Showers. We don’t have much longer until he comes looking.” He grabbed his wrist, pulling him out and off of the court.

 

* * *

 

Kevin had talked him through it all before biting him. At least he had the decency to. Him and Riko were born as vampires, that was how they’d met. When Kevin’s mom died at the hands of a hunter, he was given over to the Moriyama’s. Nathaniel was originally meant to be food, his father had sold him to be food. That made Nathaniel realize how much he’d do to get him out of his hair, out of his sight, out of his life. He could've killed him himself, but why not get some money for it and save him the worry instead? But when it was mentioned by his father that Nathaniel played Exy, even though it was an offhand comment, that made Tetsuji want to keep him. Train him under the Ravens. Nathaniel’s father couldn’t care about anything other than the money though. He would never care about his son. So that was how Nathaniel ended up in the Nest. But it didn’t really matter how he ended up there, only that he was there now.

The last memories that Nathaniel remembered as a human were pain. Pain was one of his first memories as well, so you could say that he came full circle.

When Nathaniel opened his eyes four days later, his hair had darkened. Still red, but just darker. He still had his father’s ice blue eyes, something he could never get rid of. His skin had gotten paler too, but that wasn’t what Nathaniel was worried about. It was the hunger in his gut. He couldn’t describe what he wanted, but when Kevin shoved a sports bottle in his face with a single word, “Drink.” Nathaniel had to listen to him. He was the expert after all. And whatever was in that bottle proved it. Fuck. There was no coming back from this. He could get used to the taste of blood.

Nathaniel was a vampire now. Another part of Riko’s Perfect Court, one that he wouldn’t let go or watch fade away. That was a fact he could get used to.

 


	2. a world about to dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nathaniel's feelings on number four are mixed, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i didn't mean to write this so fast, but i'm on break so, take it
> 
> i have a [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/o5yf6s667bqmr59jcdhgwpobs/playlist/4E9YtlbbKOAz7qlGWdwIb1?si=ms2S16yVSCWSp8bbneDNTg) that i listen to when i write this fic (try to guess which songs relate to neil and jean :D)
> 
> you can find me on my [tumblr](https://andreil.tumblr.com/) come shout at me

“What is it now, can’t you see I’m busy?” Nathaniel turned around, pausing. He knew before he turned that it was Kevin, he could smell him from a mile away. That was one of the benefits of being a vampire. Heightened senses. But who was with him? He was taller than Kevin was, darker hair as well. That seemed almost impossible considering the relevant facts of Kevin.

“Your new partner,” Kevin gently pushed him forward. “Jean Moreau.”

“He’s French, huh?”

“Mhmm. Straight from Marseille.”

“Okay. Well, I don’t want him.”

“Nate…” Kevin sighed. Why was he like this? Even at sixteen, he was still so bratty. “You know the rules.”

“Yeah, and they apply to Ravens. I’m not a Raven.”

“Yet,” Kevin interjected.

“Exactly. Still not a Raven, Kev,” Nathaniel looked Jean up and down. “I still don’t want him. So-”

“Can you stop fucking talking about me like I’m not here?!” Jean snapped. He looked down at Nathaniel. “I don’t fucking want you either, but it seems like we’ve got no choice, So can you suck it up and at least pretend that you like me?”

Nathaniel smirked faintly. “Wow. Isn’t he mouthy?” He tutted, grabbing his sports bottle. He drank from it, keeping up the eye contact with Jean. The blood filled his mouth, and fuck did it feel good. “So,” He clicked the lid down. “Partners?”

Jean finally looked away from him. “Partners.”

“You two had no choice anyway. You’re both backliners.”

“What?” Jean frowned. “I’m a dealer. Offensive.”

“Riko needs a backliner. So adapt. That’s why you have Nate.”

“Nate?”

“Wow. My name.” He scoffed.

“I thought it was Nathaniel.”

“You can call me Nate if I like you. I don’t like you.”

Jean scoffed, putting his hands in his back pockets. He had at least a foot, maybe more on Nathaniel. “Fine then. _Nathaniel_.”

“Better.” He looked up at Kevin. “I’ll bring him to practice. We’re good.”

Kevin nodded. “See you then Nate,” He squeezed Jean’s shoulder, maybe in a silent warning, maybe in a show of reassurance. “Your bags are in your room.”

“Thanks.”

“You could at least try to sound grateful, _Jean_ ,” Nathaniel smirked.

Kevin snorted, leaving the weights room.

“I could crush you like a bug, _toi idiot._ ” If he didn't get to call him by Nate, that could do.

“Wow,” There was Nathaniel’s dry tone, once again. “Even I don’t speak French, and I can tell that means idiot.”

Jean scowled. “You’re a difficult person to like, you know that right?”

“I know,” He took another mouthful of blood from his bottle. “You really should calm down the attitude, _toi idiot_. Riko won’t take kindly to it.” Nathaniel only smirked at the way Jean’s face went red.

“I’ll do what I want, thank you very much.”

“No. No, you won’t,” Nathaniel scoffed, stepping into his personal space. “As you’ve probably guessed, us Ravens work on a pair based system. But we’re not just paired so I can hold your hand when you cross the road, oh no. Every time you succeed, I succeed. Every time you fail, I fail. We will never be apart, you will forget the meaning of personal space. I’m not sure how much of that you got in sunny Marseille, but you sure as hell aren’t going to get anymore. I’m not going to get my fingers broken because you can’t keep your mouth shut. If I learned how to do it, you can as well. Got that, toi idiot?”

Jean gulped. “Yeah. I got it.” Even he could be a little intimidated by the small boy.

“Good. Now come on.” He walked over to his bag, shoving his bottle into it. His bottle was his baby, Kevin had even named it for him. Nathaniel didn’t care what he did, but it made Kevin laugh. He needed to laugh sometimes, Riko put him through enough shit.

Jean trailed behind him like a shadow. It was kind of disconcerting, but Nathaniel guessed this was what having a partner was all about. “Why have you got a three on your cheek, but Kevin has two lines?”

Nathaniel sighed, walking out of the weights room. “Riko decided that actual numbers were childish. He wanted numerals.”

“And how come only you three have it?”

“We’re…” How could he say it? He should probably leave it to Kevin, he was the one who told him. “Special.”

“Special how?”

“Figure it out for yourself.” Nathaniel snorted.

“Okay, and-“

“Can you stop asking so many fucking questions?!” He turned and stopped in his tracks, looking up at Jean. “You’ll figure the answers out, so just shut up and follow me.”

Jean gulped and nodded. He had to listen to Nathaniel. He had more experience here than him, despite him being a year younger than Jean.

“Good. Now come on.” He turned the corner, making his way down to Black Hall.

 

* * *

 

“Done,” The tattoo artist wiped Nathaniel’s cheek, smiling. “You want anything else doing?” She looked up at Riko. She didn't know what he could do, it was ironic really.

“Could we get one more?” He smirked a little more. “Jean needs to get his four.”

Kevin looked at Riko, slightly confused. “Already?” They’d stopped speaking in Japanese, Nathaniel had learned it pretty quickly. So there was no way that the pair of them could have secrecy anymore.

“He needs to know his place, so yes.”

“I can go get him, he’s outside the door.” Nathaniel rubbed his cheek.

“Go.” Riko waved his fingers dismissively.

Nathaniel smiled at the woman, getting off of the chair. He walked over to the door, sliding out. “Jean.”

“Yeah?” He looked up. God. It was so hard to ignore the scars on his arms. But Jean hated them being pointed out. He’d barely let Nathaniel clean them up.

“Come on. You’re getting one too.” He pointed to his cheek.

“What? Nathaniel, I really don’t think-”

“Not my choice. Now come on.” Nathaniel held the door open, letting Jean go in first.

“Hurry up.” Riko snarled.

It was obvious that Jean flinched at Riko’s tone. Why wouldn’t he? It was harsh, aggressive, and Jean could only be reminded of his late-night sessions with him. He walked in, managing to balance a neutral expression. “Where do you want me?”

“Where do you think?” Riko scoffed. 

Jean looked down and sat in the chair.

“This won’t take long sweetie, I promise,” The tattoo artist went straight to work, tracing out the numeral. “Just stay still.”

“ _When are we going to tell him?_ ” Nathaniel looked up at Riko and Kevin, rubbing his cheekbone slightly. It was only a slight buzz, nothing to what he was used to. Nothing compared to what his father would do to him.

“ _We?_ ” Riko scoffed. “ _You’re his partner, the duty falls to you_.” Even in Japanese, he was brutal.

“ _I’ve only been a vampire for two years Riko, you’ve been one for seventeen._ ”

“ _I can tell him Riko_ ,” Kevin. Always wanting to solve things. Never wanting Nathaniel to get hurt. “ _When do you want him to know?_ "

“ _Sooner rather than later._ ”

Jean hissed out in pain. “I thought you said this wouldn’t hurt?”

“You must have sensitive skin Jean.” Riko scoffed.

Jean gritted his teeth. “Yeah. Must have.”

Kevin grabbed Riko’s wrist. “Don’t.”

Riko yanked his wrist away, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Almost finished?”

“Almost…” The tattoo artist pulled away, checking it out. “Is that good enough?” She glanced at Riko for his approval.

Riko nodded. “Thank you,” He looked at Jean. “Come on. Practice time.”

Nathaniel looked over his shoulder at the court. The rest of the Ravens were getting ready to start a scrimmage. One day he’d captain them. And he’d be out there starting the scrimmage.

One day.

 

* * *

 

It happened in seconds. Barely seconds. Nathaniel heard the slam of Jean’s body against the walls of the court, but he wasn’t prepared for what he was seeing. He thought it would just be Riko getting in his face, trying to intimidate him. He didn’t expect this. Jean had hardly made a mistake, he was just struggling with a drill. That was all. It didn’t equal up to that amount of punishment. Nathaniel was about to run towards them before Kevin gripped his wrist.

Jean’s scream hurt to listen to.

It hurt, even more, when he called out for Nathaniel.

But there was nothing he could do.

“NATE!” It was desperate. Someone hanging onto the last strings of life. And he was. Because Riko was biting him. Deeper than he should be. He was turning him. Nathaniel didn’t scream that much. But Riko was more aggressive. Much more aggressive than Kevin.

Jean went paler almost instantly. If that was even possible. He was giving up with every second that ticked past.

Nathaniel could feel Jean’s heart stop beating. It was startlingly obvious, he barely felt anything on the court when it was just the four of them.

It was like the last glimmer of hope was being ripped away from his hands, only to be replaced with pain.

It lasted about thirty seconds until Riko pulled away, blood dripping down his chin, dark and thick. He stormed off of the court, leaving Jean to collapse to the floor.

His breaths were shallow, looking up at Nathaniel with desperation. “ _Help_.” He spoke in French, and Nathaniel understood. He’d been teaching him, curled up in a corner of their room, translating any book they could get their hands on. After six months, he was fluent. He picked up Japanese from just listening to Kevin and Riko speak, so it was nothing to him. Nathaniel and Jean had grown closer, much closer, over the passing months. They understood each other. And seeing Jean like this hurt Nathaniel. He threw his racquet to the side, running over to Jean. He knelt down, cupping his face.

“ _I’m so, so so sorry. I couldn’t tell you, I just, couldn’t._ ” Nathaniel pressed his hand against Jean’s bite, trying to stop the bleeding.

“ _You’re one too?_ ”

Nathaniel nodded, looking into Jean’s eyes. Brown. Dark brown. The complete opposite to Nathaniel’s ice blue.

“ _I- I knew it,_ ” Jean scoffed weakly. “ _That’s what was special about you, wasn’t it?_ ”

“ _Jean, please._ ”

“ _No. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. You’re fine, so I will be too._ ” He smiled gently, before going limp in Nathaniel’s arms.

Nathaniel shook him slightly. “J-Jean? JEAN!” Nathaniel had at least made it to his bed before he passed out. It didn’t happen this fast. It wasn’t supposed to happen this fast.

Kevin stood behind them, holding both his and Nathaniel’s racquets. This didn’t need to happen. This was unnecessary. But he couldn’t say anything, even if Riko wasn’t here. If he spoke out of line, he wouldn’t get as badly hurt as Jean or Nate would, but he didn’t care about that. He was the only one who could calm Riko down. And he needed to keep that, for the sake of Jean and Nate. “Nathaniel, let’s get him to bed…”

Nathaniel looked up at Kevin, holding Jean close. “How long will he be out for?” He tried not to make his voice shake, he really did. But he couldn’t help it.

“I don’t know.”

“Will he be okay?”

“Nate, I don’t know.”

Nathaniel frowned, getting up. He wiped his eyes, going over to Kevin. “I can’t carry him. You can.” He pulled the racquets from his hands, looking down at the ground.

“It had to happen Nathaniel.”

“Not like this!” His eyes snapped back up to Kevin’s. “Not on the court, not out of anger!”

Kevin sighed. “I know…”

Nathaniel held the racquets a little tighter. “Come on. We need to get him to bed.” He looked at Jean one last time, before turning and running off of the court.

He ignored the way his tears stung at his eyes.

He ignored Kevin when he came into his room, holding Jean.

He ignored it all.

 

* * *

 

Nathaniel sighed as he pulled the car into the parking space. He didn’t bother to park straight, it was three in the morning and it was highly unlikely that anyone would come here this late. Anyone but him and Jean.

“Finished thinking yet?”

Nathaniel glanced over at him before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I have.”

“Good.” Jean got out of the car, closing the door carefully behind him. He was always careful with his car. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been given the privilege of a car yet like Nathaniel had. Jean was careful with everything though. He rubbed his head, trying to ease the dull thudding in his temples. The stadium was loud on game nights, even from the tower. But Riko would trust Jean soon, maybe even treat him better than he was currently.

The hasty knock on the window woke Nathaniel up from his thoughts. It was a knock of impatience, and Jean had a right to be impatient. They didn’t have much longer before Kevin would start calling for them to come crawling back, something about ‘spending too long in the sun will hurt you two, in the long run, trust me,’ or something along those lines. They’d heard it all before. Kevin was always worried about the sun.

He got out and stretched his arms, the drive had taken far too long to get to the mountains. Jean wanted to see it, he wanted to celebrate his first match with just Nathaniel. None of the other Ravens. He locked the car and started to walk up the trail. Jean trudged behind him, the plastic bag he held rustling with every step he took. Nathaniel glanced over his shoulder, smiling. Jean smiled back, a rare thing for him to do. But when he did smile, it was like everything was okay. 

* * *

 

Jean held his sparkler out, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Come on,” He whined. “There isn’t much-“

“Time before the sun comes up? I know you tell me every single fucking time...” Nathaniel grumbled and lit his sparkler before doing Jean’s.

Jean smiled and sat down on the edge, holding it tightly. “So...?”

Nathaniel sat down next to him. “Well done, you did okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Fine. You were ‘amazing’,” Nathaniel rolled his eyes slightly.

Jean snorted and tried to ignore the way he felt his stomach tumble. ‘Just a result of not eating for a couple days,’ he tried to convince himself. Tried.

Nathaniel looked him up and down, placing his own sparkler in his hand. “I bought food-“

“No.”

“I don’t give a shit about your protests tonight. You worked too hard out there to not have anything.”

Jean pursed his lips together. He’d been trying for six months to survive on rabbit blood. It was working, but he always found it harder to get up after each time Riko decided to try another round of abuse on him, test a new way of hurting him. He treated Jean like a toy, something he could break and replace. He probably could, if he tried hard enough. “I’ll be fine Nate.”

Nathaniel sighed. “But you won’t be...”

Jean pressed his sparkler back into Nathaniel's hand. “I will be,” He smiled softly at him. “I promise.”

“Fine.” Nathaniel watched his sparkler go out. “There’s more in the box if you want more.”

“We’ll see if we have time.” Jean rested his head on Nathaniel’s shoulder. They’d curl up like this most nights in their room, it was normal. It was acceptable. It was okay.

Nathaniel reached into the bag, pulling out his bottle. Black and red. Like everything he owned. Black car, black clothes, black everything. He popped the lid off and sighed, drinking as fast as he could. It was fresh. Good. If there was one thing Riko was good at, other than Exy and hurting people, was finding fresh blood that didn’t taste like shit.

Jean glanced up at Nathaniel, just as the sparkler went out. “...Nate?”

“Yeah?” Was all he could croak out.

“Have you ever...?”

“Ever what?” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow and put the bottle down.

“Kissed someone.” He blurted out, before pausing. “Properly. With you... Wanting it.” Now, this was a topic they’d never discussed.

Nathaniel paused. He’d never had the chance to talk to kids his age when he was with his father, and he’d never really wanted anything that Riko forced on him. “No.”

“No?”

“I haven’t.”

Jean looked away, glancing at the sky. Faint smudges of orange were starting to appear. Now or never. “Would you want to?”

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

Nathaniel grabbed the bottle and took another sip. “Look at me,” He demanded.

Jean turned to face him, feeling that weird feeling in his stomach again. If he did have a heartbeat, it’d be going so fast he wouldn’t be able to keep up with it. It only felt worse when his lips crashed into his. They were experienced, of course. They’d done this before. But this was new. It felt like a beginning of something. Like everything they’d been fighting silently for was ending up at this moment. Every harsh, never-ending punishment Riko gave them? Every scalding word that Kevin would lecture them with? Every practice, every breath, every step that they did in that god awful stadium? It all felt like nothing compared to what this felt like. It only stopped when Nathaniel hissed in pain. Fuck. Jean had done something wrong, he’d messed up, he’d scared him away-

“Fuck. Sun. Come on. We’ve gotta get to the car before it hurts even more.” Nathaniel stood up and picked up the plastic bag. “Coming?” He held his spare hand out for Jean to take.

Jean nodded and took it, letting Nathaniel help him up. But, to his surprise, he didn’t let go of his hand.  

Neither of them did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my name's taylor and i'd like to personally apologise to jean for putting him through the pain i've put him through
> 
> (watch out, andrews coming in the next chapter)

**Author's Note:**

> also, i should add, big thanks to [ neyu](http://requiemofkings.tumblr.com/) for letting me ramble about these stupid gay vampires to her


End file.
